Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
