I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
