saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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