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ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
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