I accidentally had phone sex last night
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You drinking a lot?
Define a lot
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO