Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.