your parents love me but you hate me
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
thus making me awesome and them whores
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..