singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
