tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
