he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
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