those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
someone owes me an orgasm
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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