idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
