I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize