Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
