I look better un-naked...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
