Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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