I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
