You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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