I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
