It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
