i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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