so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
