Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
