he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
