i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
did you just send me my own nude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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