I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
