I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
