They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize