Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
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my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
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How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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