So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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