and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
