Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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