He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize