Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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