i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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