yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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