Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
