What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
