god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
