she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
there's paper in my vomit.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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