the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
