i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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