Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
