thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
