i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
