dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm passing your future prison.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize