I am puke
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
