return my video game
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
