The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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