new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
