Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
