it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
