Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I forgot how hot balto sounded
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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