can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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