i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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