This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
