I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
