OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
