ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
