At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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