All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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