Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
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