is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I think your dad took our porno
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
