We won't sleep together?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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