the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize