Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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