why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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