I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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