She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Floor bacon is actually really good
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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