Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
