Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
