The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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